I snapped this pic of Frankie F. Baby's old get-high partner helping her move the last of her stuff
out to the ATL.
We've moved on up to the East Side, (well WordPress.) Yeah honey the queen is running with the big dogs now. Keep up with me and the Celebrity Mama Mafia at: http://fakejanicecombs.com

Mee-Maw's Little Sugars Endorse Obama

Notice how they are asking for me between :48 and about :59. They start calling "Tee-tee! Tee-tee!" That's how they call for me! Now excuse me while I call SJ on his Blackberry and cuss him out for waking my grandbabies up from their naps for his vlog. They are gonna be cross as bears when Cheri Dennis comes over there to babysit tonight.

"All the Single Ladies-Beyonce"Dance Videos Got to STOP

If I see one more of my vogue competitors gyrating in their 'Bring It On' shorts on YouTube I'm gonna scream. Tina Knowles can't you cast a hex or something? This child right here must've been doing a tribute to Diahann Carroll in 'Eve's Bayou' or something. All I know is I had to go pour myself a double shot of Patron to calm my nerves afterwards.

Mama Got the Blues: Open Letter to Poprah aka Kim

You remember on the Beverly Hillbillies when Granny Clampett would get the blues? She'd take to her rocking chair in the corner with a jug of corn liquor, get her drink on, and sing her a spiritual till her soul and got happy? Well that's the mode I've been in these past few days, except I been sipping Crown Royal...ever since my girl Laverne got cut from SJ's (Diddy's) show. I know its his decision and all, but that's my girl! And I had promised her the job and bribed Capricorn and that little Deliverance-looking white boy a couple grand each looked forward to her being my liason at Bad Boy so we could fem vogue practice together. "Jesus, come by here..."

On serious note, the Queen rarely takes something back,cause I'm usually right. But the Lord has convicted me about being so hard on Poprah. After I saw her bare her soul tearfully like that about why she gained weight, Melvin, my late husband, came to visit me and said the Lord wanted me to repent for bustin on her. Like. right. now. So here it is, serious as a ghost:

Dear Kim aka Poprah, I think (*Ouch!*Melvin dammit OKAY quit pluckin me on the head)!

I am truly sorry for everything I said about you baby-girl in my online diary here. Mama Combs had no idea you'd been through so much pain in your life. My mama's intution makes me wonder if something in addition to unwelcome advances happened to you; if so sugar, know that it was not your fault, hear? I strongly encourage you to go seek some counseling so you can process what you've been through. If you inbox me, I can give you a recommendation. I also commit to you right now, you have the full support of the Celebrity Mama Mafia; anyone messes with you, just hit Oracene, Cissy, Mama Combs, (or Anne if she's not high), on our Blackberries and we'll sho 'nuff handle this. Show anyone who messes with you this picture of us on maneuvers. Yeah that's how weez gets down, what? Okay baby-girl, I guess this is all I wanted to say. Let mama hear from you, mama loves you and is praying for you. You have a bright future ahead of you!

Smooches and love,
Fake Mama Combs

As for Kim Porter, Ms.J Alexander, Fake Frankie, or Lil Creole Frosted Mini Wheat, I ain't gone soft, so don't come in here and show off, hear?

It Ain't a Rumor: I WERKED The Pole!

See here for details.

Related:

P.Diddy's Mom Knows Her Way Around a Stripper Pole

I'm Janice Combs and It's All About ME (on I Wanna Work for Diddy!)

Yes sugars today's ep. will feature MOI as Ghetto Gospel and the rest try to meet my needs...and my gold-digging wannabe daugther-in-law, Kim Porter. On VH1 at 11AM EST. Check your local listings honey.

We Busy Trying to Get Donna Brazile to Comb Her Curls Out

This is one stubbonr sister I tell you. Michelle told us don't let her out of the tour bus until we bust through that Lottabody. I mean Oracene's been doing the girls' hair for years, and Donna won't let her come within 5 feet of her with a comb. We may need to take more drastic measures. Stay tuned.

Get It Right, Hillary

We're here in Denver on Michelle's security detail, making sure "Hill'ry" doesn't get up there and decide to talk out the side of her neck tonight, nahmean?

Oracene usually doesn't apply the muscle, but she spent some time at the Shaolin temple when she was in Beijing for the girls' Olympic matches, and took some kung fu sword lessons? So,she brought one back to assist with Michelle's security. We're also screening this scene from Crouching Tiger for HRC on continuous loop so it's good and imprinted in her mind. Otherwise Cene goes Michelle Yeoh on her azz.

North Carolina!!! Take Ya Shirt Off Twist It 'Round Ya Head Like Helicopter

Yeah we here for Barack's townhall out at the fair grounds. It still smells like goats' behind out here but whatever. We rolled down to Cooper's BBQ and got a pulled pork sammich with slaw on top - thank you Jesus, plus ordered a stash for the plane. Michelle was like "this doesn't look like Lems'" but one bite and she was hooked. Oracene has some people down this way somewhere so she hipped us to the food. After the speech lets out, we are hitting Krispy Kreme before the hot doughnut sign goes out.

Watch the speech here.

I Want to Work for Diddy Week 3:: "Im Shocked and RuPauled Too."

"I'm shocked and RuPauled"--Laverne, I Want to Work for Diddy

Okay this is going to be short because I gotta get back to watching the Olympics, but, all I want to know is:
How in the WORLD did a team with a DRAG QUEEN IN IT lose a fashion shoot challenge? This should have been like shooting catfish in a barrell! Lord, these children are going to work my third nerve before this is over! First she all "easy breezy beautiful Cover Girl "on some Carrie Bradshaw goes to Paris to see Alexander stuff.Then she segued to Sex and the City the Movie and took to her bed with a Snickers Bar and a fifth of Patron (okay I made the Patron part up) like when Big left Carrie standing at the altar and took to her bed and didn't wash for 4 days. .... What? Well she didn't? You know that hammer was funky...oh nevermind.

And that shifty, beady-eyed Dion child? I sent a test messaage blast to Sean: "Somethin not right about that boy, SJ." Sean woulda woke up one morning with Dion standing over his bed with a hatchet in his hand.